My first Thanksgiving in Houston started out by putting on a short sleeve shirt and pair of shorts then stepping outside into the sunshine and 80-degree weather. Normally, I would find myself longing for colder more traditional holiday weather hoping to be able to light the fireplace and make some cider; but this year the warm weather brought a definite nostalgia from my childhood Thanksgiving days in Florida. Today was an enjoyable day of rest, relaxation, and reflection.
It is in that time of reflection that I find myself in a place of contradiction. You may be wondering how a person can have a paradox of thankfulness or even a contradiction concerning blessing. One would think either someone is thankful or not. Normally that would completely be the truth of the matter, but when God is involved there is usually something extraordinary quietly happening in the background of life subtly waiting for discovery. The bedlam in today’s busy society makes it easy to overlook what appears to be completely obvious when one takes the time to ruminate on life and situation.
Examining my personal history it is easy to see my life has been full of blessings and success. It is also evident that for the majority of my life God has kept me out of a great deal of turmoil developing my core in order to equip me for His specific purpose. Then several years ago my life was turned completely upside down and from that point I have been forever changed. This is where the paradox begins.
In one hand I have successfully transitioned to a new career and have an incredible job and an amazing house that I continue to make my home. I am balancing life better than I have in a very long time. Sleeping in my own bed, getting a full nights sleep, eating healthy foods, exercising, going to church regularly, making new friends, and enjoying hobbies are blessings that are easily recognizable. On the surface, the pain of loss and loneliness would seem to far outweigh the blessings thus begins the paradox. Half a decade later I find myself asking the question “how does one walk through the grief and sorrow of life and still find thanksgiving”? Everyday the answer to that question becomes just a little more clear.
The first thing that I learned is that adversity was a test of my faith. The test forces a person to a crisis of belief or point of decision. That crisis of belief is the crossroad of faith where we find out who we are at our core, are we going to follow Christ by making choices based on the Word of God written in scripture or are we going to make choices that are convenient and satisfy our current needs and desires. The interesting part is I see people everyday that choose convenience and at least on the surface they seem to live very happy lives. That fact makes it extremely hard to follow the still small voice deep down that beckons us to follow scripture especially when it appears to not directly address our specific situation. That choice is tough, difficult, demanding and it takes daily discipline.
Day after day I find myself asking God why, when, and how long. At first those conversations were frustrating. Then one day I realized it was in that dialog that I finally found true relationship with my God. The understanding of that relationship brought happiness and a peace that has surpassed all understanding thus the paradox of thanksgiving. The meshing of mourning and delight when in Christ somehow equals joy. This Thanksgiving it is that joy in which I am most appreciative. I hope this holiday each one of you takes the time to reflect and find where your joy comes from.
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